okay, i kid you not, the first hour and 45 minutes of class were spent talking about AN ANALOGY of buddhist ideas as seen in a zombie movie. probably not the best parallel but that's not the point. the point is, why the %^*($&)*# did we spend that much time on a fucking analogy?!?!
and why do we keep coming back to the same damn subject: thing=nothing. who cares that our minds don't quite get it? it's only because we are using very loaded words to discuss complicated, metaphysical and spiritual concepts. we may struggle with using the terms interchangably but that's due to our culture. our upbringing.
i really wish we would just use the "original" pali terms (or even sanskrt) so we wouldn't waste HOURS on word bullshit!!!!!!
24 February 2010
10 February 2010
spiritual grounding?
i'm not sure if "irony" is the correct word to use, however, i am noting here and now i find it "ironic" that --while my main lecture class is based in philsophy/religion of asia, i personally have not attended a church service since early november. having grown up in a very spiritually active family, i find the lack of a spiritual anchor unsettling. that being said, i simply can not find a church home/tradition where i feel i am growing/being nurtured spiritually.
my family background is middle-ground-to-conservative protestant. i left the denomination i grew up in for a more liberal/open minded one (i.e. ordains women, acknowledges other religious truths, welcomes persons of ALL backgrounds- not just the ones they are comfortable with). i feel great affinity to judaism. i enjoy buddhism. i am madly in love with the moon and wish fervently for open acknowledgment of the goddess.
so i haven't been to church.
today--for those of you familiar with the Christian liturgical year-- is ash wednesday, the beginning of the lenten season. lent has always been special for me. it's quite honestly my favorite part of the church year ( some blame my upbringing and their penchant for embracing guilt/sorrow/misery/mourning). i ached to find an ash wednesday service i could attend between my volunteering and class. apparently lent's not a huge deal around these parts unless you're catholic.
finally i found an episcopal cathedral open to the public for prayer/contemplation, etc. i walked their labyrinth. i lit a candle to st. mary magdalene and prayed for the women in my life. i sat in the pew, gazed at the magnificence and read the ash wednesday liturgy to myself.
i walked away a little bit more grounded.
my family background is middle-ground-to-conservative protestant. i left the denomination i grew up in for a more liberal/open minded one (i.e. ordains women, acknowledges other religious truths, welcomes persons of ALL backgrounds- not just the ones they are comfortable with). i feel great affinity to judaism. i enjoy buddhism. i am madly in love with the moon and wish fervently for open acknowledgment of the goddess.
so i haven't been to church.
today--for those of you familiar with the Christian liturgical year-- is ash wednesday, the beginning of the lenten season. lent has always been special for me. it's quite honestly my favorite part of the church year ( some blame my upbringing and their penchant for embracing guilt/sorrow/misery/mourning). i ached to find an ash wednesday service i could attend between my volunteering and class. apparently lent's not a huge deal around these parts unless you're catholic.
finally i found an episcopal cathedral open to the public for prayer/contemplation, etc. i walked their labyrinth. i lit a candle to st. mary magdalene and prayed for the women in my life. i sat in the pew, gazed at the magnificence and read the ash wednesday liturgy to myself.
i walked away a little bit more grounded.
07 February 2010
open-ended letter to my professor....
dr. x,
understand that i mean no disrespect. you are terribly unmotivating, uninteresting and, in my personal opinion, not qualified to teach our class. perhaps my expectations are high. i mean, it;s not your fault that our previous professor was an incredibly bright, challenging, caring, harvard-educated man who drove us to succeed and inspired us to excel. it's not your fault that i assumed you would be on par with him. it's not your fault that i feel the field in which you specialize is a load of crock.
perhaps, if maybe this week's readings (which you want to have us prepared for wednesday's class) had been posted early enough that i could print them out and therefore underline/highlight them instead of it now being early sunday afternoon and--having no access to a printer-- i will have to rely on reading them on the internet and my paltry attempt at note-taking.
will this continue to be a regular thing? i hope not, because i rely on the IT room on campus to print things. 1) it's much cheaper than the library/ kinko's/ random copy centers per page. 2) it's convienient to print them out on wednesday/thursday before i go to my actual class so i can read them during--oh say my two hour round-trip commute. i can't **DO** that on my laptop because the city isn't wired with free wireless. and i don't have the money to go to cafes everyday to access the internet. and my apartment is out of the question because lord knows there are too many distractions!!!!!
so for the love of pete (whomever he may be) FUCKING POST THE READINGS ON TIME!!!!
then, you may just gain an ounce of respect from me.
sincerely,
embittered grad student
perhaps, if maybe this week's readings (which you want to have us prepared for wednesday's class) had been posted early enough that i could print them out and therefore underline/highlight them instead of it now being early sunday afternoon and--having no access to a printer-- i will have to rely on reading them on the internet and my paltry attempt at note-taking.
will this continue to be a regular thing? i hope not, because i rely on the IT room on campus to print things. 1) it's much cheaper than the library/ kinko's/ random copy centers per page. 2) it's convienient to print them out on wednesday/thursday before i go to my actual class so i can read them during--oh say my two hour round-trip commute. i can't **DO** that on my laptop because the city isn't wired with free wireless. and i don't have the money to go to cafes everyday to access the internet. and my apartment is out of the question because lord knows there are too many distractions!!!!!
so for the love of pete (whomever he may be) FUCKING POST THE READINGS ON TIME!!!!
then, you may just gain an ounce of respect from me.
sincerely,
embittered grad student
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