at finding a research topic. or at least, researching a research topic.
maybe i just don't know how to "properly" use library search engines??? i have tried numerous combinations of key words. i have tried just googling the keywords in various combos. yet, to no avail. and i have now attempted 2 different topics. either the research doesn't exsist, and i am looking at hypothetical doctoral theses *OR* (the more likely option) i am doing the search all wrong.
i have even tried link+, as well as local library systems on top of my school's library AND a wide variety of scholarly journal databases.
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
26 March 2010
17 March 2010
"take a good, last look, 'cuz you'll never see THESE again...."
"SPRING BREAK!"
ten points to the first to identify the reference.
i wish i could say i am having a completely restful, relaxing spring break, but alas, it just doesn't hold the same weight as it did in undergrad. sure, it's lovely to not make the commute out to campus twice this week, but that's all it means to me: less commute time. and while i'm sticking to my guns and having a homework-easy week, i am painfully aware that a number of my classmates have already begun researching and reserving books for their final paper.
maybe i'm just not cut out for the whole "grad student" thing. (???)
in other relatively sad news, once again, my favorite day has rolled around--a chance to celebrate my *ACTUAL* irish-ness (thank you very much!) and once again, i made themistake choice to give up alcohol for lent. why do i do this to myself? i'm not catholic. i'm barely protestant. so- kind readers- drink several pints for me.
slainte!
ten points to the first to identify the reference.
i wish i could say i am having a completely restful, relaxing spring break, but alas, it just doesn't hold the same weight as it did in undergrad. sure, it's lovely to not make the commute out to campus twice this week, but that's all it means to me: less commute time. and while i'm sticking to my guns and having a homework-easy week, i am painfully aware that a number of my classmates have already begun researching and reserving books for their final paper.
maybe i'm just not cut out for the whole "grad student" thing. (???)
in other relatively sad news, once again, my favorite day has rolled around--a chance to celebrate my *ACTUAL* irish-ness (thank you very much!) and once again, i made the
slainte!
12 March 2010
insert witty title here
i haven't been posting. i'm quite aware. not that there's a huge demand for my ravings of frustration co-mingled with the occasional joyous update. never-the-less...
i am finding that i am too angry (?) to post. events have occurred that, while not devastating in the long run, have crushed my spirit.
1. i lost (still convinced it may have been stolen somehow) my student ID. not a big deal because the ID itself is replaceable. what *isn't* replaceable was the semester-long bus pass! not only is that $88 down the tube for the cost of the pass, but now everytime i head to campus i hand over $2, each way. that's potentially $8 a week. some weeks i get a lift back home. but, in upcoming weeks, when i will be spending more time at the library researching, or assisting a prior professor, i will be handing over even more.
i feel incompetent and stupid about this whole ordeal because the original ID disappeared in a time span of approximately 5 minutes. and i don't know to this day how or why. i have a new ID card now, so i can access campus locations, IT and borrow books but that bus pass...!!! :::sigh:::
2. family issues. i am getting quite tired of the song-and-dance number to the tune of "we're really tight on money right now so we can't [fill in the blank]" from my parents. if it were an honest plea, it wouldn't bother me so much. but it has hardly escaped my notice that EVERY TIME i have scraped up enough money to go home, they have a brand-new, high-ticket item. (recent acquisitions include: giant flat-screen HiDef TV, entertainment unit, ps3, new car, re-doing the living room, oh and vacations/retreats abound!)
this april my dad is turning 60. my mom decided she was going to throw him a big surprise party and invite all the important people from his past AND fly me home for the party. the last time we talked she had decided against the party in favor of something smaller. fair enough. but when i asked about coming home to be there with him to celebrate, she informed me they "don't have the money" right now. :::sigh::: fine. whatever.
so i asked if they were still planning to come visit as an entire family this summer- which they have be telling me they were going to do for over a year now (also, my dad has YET to come and visit me in the place of my residing since i moved out of the midwest in 2006!!!) surprise surprise they aren't going to be able to afford that either. times are tight.
so, i email my kid sister and ask her if she has plans for spring break and would she like to come visit me. her spring break is the first week of april. she tells me that she'd much rather do that but mom,dad AND she are going to Florida!!!!!
they can't come visit me, or have me flown home for my dad's 60th BUT THEY CAN GO TO FLORIDA??
3. my love/hate relationship with grad school is severely in the "hate" spectrum this semester. it's a combination of many things: from feeling like the workload is too easy (yes, i said too easy. i know most people would be grateful for a light load, but i'm paying a LOT with little return), to getting very little out of my main class ( the lectures become circular reasoning with very little exploration of the social context or impact), to just plain not understanding HOW i'm supposed to know already what my thesis for a final paper is going to be, when i frankly feel like i know nothing about eastern religion, or at least, not enough to take a stance on anything. ARGH!!!!!
and that, coupled with the usual self-doubt, loathing and stress, have kept me from posting until now.
i am finding that i am too angry (?) to post. events have occurred that, while not devastating in the long run, have crushed my spirit.
1. i lost (still convinced it may have been stolen somehow) my student ID. not a big deal because the ID itself is replaceable. what *isn't* replaceable was the semester-long bus pass! not only is that $88 down the tube for the cost of the pass, but now everytime i head to campus i hand over $2, each way. that's potentially $8 a week. some weeks i get a lift back home. but, in upcoming weeks, when i will be spending more time at the library researching, or assisting a prior professor, i will be handing over even more.
i feel incompetent and stupid about this whole ordeal because the original ID disappeared in a time span of approximately 5 minutes. and i don't know to this day how or why. i have a new ID card now, so i can access campus locations, IT and borrow books but that bus pass...!!! :::sigh:::
2. family issues. i am getting quite tired of the song-and-dance number to the tune of "we're really tight on money right now so we can't [fill in the blank]" from my parents. if it were an honest plea, it wouldn't bother me so much. but it has hardly escaped my notice that EVERY TIME i have scraped up enough money to go home, they have a brand-new, high-ticket item. (recent acquisitions include: giant flat-screen HiDef TV, entertainment unit, ps3, new car, re-doing the living room, oh and vacations/retreats abound!)
this april my dad is turning 60. my mom decided she was going to throw him a big surprise party and invite all the important people from his past AND fly me home for the party. the last time we talked she had decided against the party in favor of something smaller. fair enough. but when i asked about coming home to be there with him to celebrate, she informed me they "don't have the money" right now. :::sigh::: fine. whatever.
so i asked if they were still planning to come visit as an entire family this summer- which they have be telling me they were going to do for over a year now (also, my dad has YET to come and visit me in the place of my residing since i moved out of the midwest in 2006!!!) surprise surprise they aren't going to be able to afford that either. times are tight.
so, i email my kid sister and ask her if she has plans for spring break and would she like to come visit me. her spring break is the first week of april. she tells me that she'd much rather do that but mom,dad AND she are going to Florida!!!!!
they can't come visit me, or have me flown home for my dad's 60th BUT THEY CAN GO TO FLORIDA??
3. my love/hate relationship with grad school is severely in the "hate" spectrum this semester. it's a combination of many things: from feeling like the workload is too easy (yes, i said too easy. i know most people would be grateful for a light load, but i'm paying a LOT with little return), to getting very little out of my main class ( the lectures become circular reasoning with very little exploration of the social context or impact), to just plain not understanding HOW i'm supposed to know already what my thesis for a final paper is going to be, when i frankly feel like i know nothing about eastern religion, or at least, not enough to take a stance on anything. ARGH!!!!!
and that, coupled with the usual self-doubt, loathing and stress, have kept me from posting until now.
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