i want to be somewhere else- not stuck here for the remainder of my grad program. i read about where my friends are (either in life, or quite literally where they are in the world) both via blogs and the ubiquitous facebook and wish i was the one having the grand adventures. i realise that going back to school and pursuing further knowledge is an adventure in itself, but one that- at least for the time being- requires me to a) stay physically put, in close proximity to school and b) makes "responsible" decisions that are affected directly by the fact i have to remain put.
no taking long trips- can't afford them, can't miss class/work, who'd watch the kittens?
must have at least one source of income- to afford staples/ rent/ food/etc. which means no long trips
no "me time"- have to do homework, read class materials, spend time in transit to/from class
can't afford a car- so it takes forever to get anywhere, also prevents day trips of any kind
local friends are all busy- in school/work/etc. and right now, all have more income
GOOD GRIEF.
anyone have a football???
2 comments:
Assuming that I'm one of those friends who's out having adventures. . .
Adventures are what you make of them, of what you make them out of. They're not all they're cracked up to be, and moving around isn't inherently great. It's so interesting to read your thoughts on your experience in the Bay Area, as I'm missing that stability like crazy these days. I wonder if some of our experiences isn't a bit of the 'grass is greener'. We all have our challenges. Are you longing for a different path, or are you stuck in the struggle of the one you're on??
m, i think right now, what i'm longing for is impossible- flexibility. i want to be in these classes, i'm loving them and devouring the knowledge BUT i extremely dislike that it immobilizes me--for the next short while at least. while i know inherently that 2 years is a drop in the hat, it's the struggle of not being able to afford even little escapes. i have a month of winter break (for example) and would LOVE to use it to travel- but i will have to be working as much as possible and have the family obligation of Christmas and even then- who's gonna watch the kittens?
as for "adventures" i mean everything from new homes to new kids to new states to foreign countries to foreign travel. even the other grad-level students around here seem to take time to travel- and have the ability (mobility, money, etc.) to do it. so maybe i am feeling 'stuck', but the alternative would be turning my back on a program i'm crazy about!
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