are we really still THIS shallow?

rarely do i take the time to muse on things that anger me. i mean, REALLY rile me up. {unless, of course, i am directly affected by something} however, seeing as i am in a liminal space- transitioning from one thing to the next- i came across an article today that really pissed me off.

how is this still considered okay?!?! <---- in this op ed./"real life" piece in jezebel, i was absolutely flored by the number of women who are pressured {either verbally outright or subliminally peer-pressured} to change their appearance to conform to some standard of beauty. while some consider it a type of "dress up", the stories of women who have lost their jobs for not wearing makeup or having the "right" outfit or doing their hair the "right way" {or having it too short!?!?!} is absolutely mind blowing!!!

it is one thing when a uniform is part of a job. or terms of employment are in place in some form of dress code {no visible tattoos, no unnatural hair colorurs, etc., which i personally think is bullshit}, but it is completely different to expect ANYONE to dress/look/act a certain way in order to keep their job, or to grow in their given field. as long as nothing impedes a person from doing a good job, why the fuck should it matter whether or not they wear makeup or color their hair or have "unusual" piercings or wear retro clothing or whatever.

it makes me lose hope that i will ever find something more than an hourly-wage job because i am completely unwilling to conform, to change who i am for someone else.

i must be getting old

i am currently at an on-campus event (NOT required) but related to one of my papers this semester. it is a lecture/round table discussion on the "global and local perspectives on the politics of pregnancy."

fascinating, right?

no HUGE surprise 95% of the crowd is female...however i can't get over how "exposed" these girls are. and frilly/female in what i consider a stereotypical way. so many plunging necklines, skintight clothing, short/tight skirts, etc. and all i can think is: "you are worth so much more. you don't need to flaunt your legs/boobs/etc. " it makes me feel like a curmudgeonly old cynical bitch.

:::sigh:::

it's the final countdown!

(and no, i'm not going to make a yacht disappear)

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, begins the "final" semester of my master's program. i am both feeling terribly thrilled to be back in the classroom, and at the same time, utterly terrified.

perhaps it's just back to school jitters, but i think it's more than that. faced with still NO IDEA what i'm going to do with this degree once i receive it *and* after having finally got to a point last semester where i was feeling comfortable with myself, my peers, and balancing the social and the academic...i find myself back at "square one".

somehow, during the last last 3 weeks or so of last semester, i managed to alienate the classmate i felt the closest to. i am not 100% sure what i did, only that it was bad enough to be given the cold shoulder, no longer traveling back home accompanied by them as well as (and this surprisingly hurt the most) being pretty much banned from their facebook account.  the only thing i can possibly think of is that i said something so offensive...but i can't think of what. and that's what worries me. i know i could/ should say something to this person like: whatever it was i did, i'm so sorry. but the fact that i can't remember/don't know means i can't be sorry without knowing what i'm sorry for. and i'm afraid that by asking, i'll give the impression that i'm too much of an ass to know/ remember what i did. **AND** i'm also terrified that other classmates will have been told something and will also cut me off.

jeez. i went (in life) from being uber extroverted and unconcerned as to what others thought of me to being a total wallflower, desperate for peer approval.

proposed topic

so, assuming it gets "approved" (a.k.a. a better grade than my first paper proposal), here is a brief summary of what i will be writing a paper on for ONE of my classes this semester....

Rebel, Rebel: Soushoku Danshi (“Herbivore Boys”), Makeinu (“Losing Dogs”), and the Queering of “Traditional” Gender Roles in Japan

place an "x" on the life-line

an acquaintance of mine urged me to do the following exercise, as i have been struggling with what-to-do-once-i-graduate. i was told to make 2 lists of at least 5 options: "jobs i would enjoy domestically" (and was told to disregard any reality issues) and "jobs i would enjoy internationally". i was told not to do any "rational editing" or self-criticism.

remarkably, there are quite a few similarities. so here they are. (feel free to make suggestions of things i've missed that i'd be good at.)

domestic jobs
- teach: either at the university level, or in a non-traditional classroom setting (i.e. a school for the arts, an immersion school, a alternative school, etc.)
-work for Dark Horse Comics--don't care in what capacity per se
- a non-profit job: girl's inc, SPICE, women's global fund, etc.
- actor in a sci-fi/fantasy TV series
- fashion importer: specifically asian and 'street fashion'
- own/run a cafe
- fiction writier

jobs abroad
- teach (yet again): in International schools, english in a foreign country, JET, etc.
- travel writer, because i've never had a helpful travel guide
- run/own a cafe (again)
- something with street fashion/ magazines
- be the token foreigner on a TV show
- WOOF- world organization of organic farms, at least, i'm fairly certain that's what it stands for

any suggestions???

-

"take a good, last look, 'cuz you'll never see THESE again...."

"SPRING BREAK!" 


ten points to the first to identify the reference.


i wish i could say i am having a completely restful, relaxing spring break, but alas, it just doesn't hold the same weight as it did in undergrad. sure, it's lovely to not make the commute out to campus twice this week, but that's all it means to me: less commute time. and while i'm sticking to my guns and having a homework-easy week, i am painfully aware that a number of my classmates have already begun researching and reserving books for their final paper.


maybe i'm just not cut out for the whole "grad student" thing. (???)


in other relatively sad news, once again, my favorite day has rolled around--a chance to celebrate my *ACTUAL* irish-ness (thank you very much!) and once again, i made the mistake choice to give up alcohol for lent. why do i do this to myself? i'm not catholic. i'm barely protestant. so- kind readers- drink several pints for me.


slainte!