things are manifesting {cross-posted from my "less public" blog}

which means, of course, i haven't been writing. but i will be soon. honest. in the meantime, BRIEF bringing y'all up to speed:

- job is going well.
- i'm using my health care and taking care of myself bit by bit
- seeing a rad-tacular somatic therapist
- yoga work-trade is amazing
- possibility of a new living space/place is at 95% (just need to figure out the logistics)

day by day my friends, day by day.

525,600 minutes...{how do you measure, measure a year?}

this weekend marks exactly ONE YEAR since i "graduated" and it has left me thinking about everything that has (and hasn't) happened since that pivotal day. so i thought, to bring my readers up to speed--since it has been a long while since i updated-- to do it by numbers.

1--> the approximate number of weeks after my graduation ceremony before my spousal unit *SHATTERED* his left leg/knee/tibial plateau.
5+--> days in the hospital after the first surgery
3--> days in the hospital after the second surgery
3--> surgeries in total
4+--> months in which the spousal unit was completely bed-ridden
11 and counting--> months of recovery until gaining "full use" of his leg again
2--> times he had his health insurance taken away from him by his employer because he wasn't "earning it" (um....broke his leg DUH)
4--> different jobs i've had since graduation
1-->awesome, yet sadly temporary, internship
4+--> months where i was unemployed, thanks to the aforementioned employer who took spousal unit's insurance away
2--> months i had to battle them to collect EDD benefits
6-->months on SNAP (food stamps)
20+--> resumes/cover letters sent out for jobs/positions that were more than entry level
50+--> other jobs applied for
4--> "thanks for applying but we'll pass" letters received in total from all jobs/positions tried for
1--> amazing child that i nanny-share for once a week
3--> interviews (2 for retail positions, 1 for a "real grown up" job)
1-->job finally found!
7--> years of marriage celebrated, despite all the past year's hardships!!!!

and many, many, many other things....

just a quick update

for those of you who still are checking in with me--- i have started a side project.

an unedited, no bars held back, more personal blog.

if you know me in real life and want an invite, let me know. i may send you one. i may not. i may update the personal one. i may use it for myself only. i haven't decided yet.

later.

PANIC (at the disco!)

t-minus one week until graduation. so many things left to accomplish/square away and feeling awash in the quagmire of panic. in order of importance:

1. write my paper for politics (hopefully accomplished by tuesday)
2. complete the online federal loan exit survey, or my grades will not be released :(
3. Project proposal for my other class--a blessedly short write up
4. try to do one more update of my project before having to present it on thursday
5. FIGURE OUT SUMMER LANGUAGE!!!---> things that are impeding my search:
    A. the above numbers, 1-4
    B. It needs to be at least four credits (most i can find are 3)
    C. it needs to work with/around my work schedule.I need to work at least 4 days a week. shifts at work   are either 11-4 OR 4-9.  everything i have found out there so far would not allow me to work as much as i need to, there by making living/eating/paying rent a pain in the arse.
    D. If i don't find one that can give me 4 credits, i will NOT receive my diploma
    E. ideally, i would *like* to continue studying japanese (since, you know, i'd like to actually get proficient at it) but institutions around here only offer intro levels over the summer. or 3-credit classes.

i'm having a hard time keeping food down and sleeping with regularity. when i do sleep, i'm addled with dreams that are bordering on night terrors. i know to try and breathe and take one day at a time, but this feels like an epic crux/ turning point in my life and why the frak can't things just fall into place a little bit better??? this langauge thing has been a pain in my ass since the begining.

panicky panic

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

project. paper. no direction. 9 days. sleep??? eat?? must register for summer. graduate?

may 20th, 2011-->mark your calendar!

i have been (keep your fingers crossed!) granted permission to participate in graduation! i can walk with my co-horts! woot! double woot! triple woot!

now, all i have to do to get the damn diploma is: 1. write a 20 page paper for one class 2. come up with and execute a prject on policy change for my other class 3. find a VIABLE summer language class ( i have one in the works, it still needs to be approved, then finagled from 3 credits to 4 credits) 4. finish the summer class 5. get my diploma

can i do it folks, with less than a month to go??? will i sleep? will i lose my sanity? will i drrive my family and friends up the wall?

JAPAN--->part 2

if you watched the video posted in my last update, you will know that it is a multi-part project.

Here's PART 2

please please PLEASE take the time to watch it (3 minutes!) and re-blog, tweet, facebook, email it to as many people you know. for reals.

and i promise a more academically related post in the near future. this "final semester" is really taking its toll on me.